Friday, August 14, 2009

Tips for your Trip

Hey Dad, I am beyond my happiness limits just knowing that you will be here in 2 weeks! I know that you are a little uneasy about the whole flying thing....but I have some tips.

1. Arrive to the airport 15 minutes before your scheduled flight

2. Eat lots of fiber filled fiber food and drink A LOT of water so you will have the pleasure of using an airplane bathroom. (I have not had this pleasure personally due to the fact that I would rather hold it)

3. Don't forget to ask the 90 year old stewardess lady for 2nds on peanuts and soda. She will be so happy to do anything for you. (oh, and I hope you have an aisle seat so she can smash you with her cart)

4. Wear a lot of jewelry, a belt, and your pocket watch. The more metal the merrier.

5. MAKE SURE your luggage is heavier than 50 pounds so they can give you grief and charge you 100 more dollars. And your carry-on should contain all of your shampoos and lotions...they won't make you throw them away...I promise.

6. Put all of your valuable items in your suitcase last (so they are on top). This will insure they will stay nice and protected when the luggage men kick your bag, break the zipper, and then run over your bag with their little golf cart.

7. Request a seat all of the way in the back of the plane so it takes you approx. 30 minutes to get off of the aircraft. And make sure that seat (way in the back) is in between a crying baby and a very well fed individual.

If you follow all of these tips, you will have the happiest flight a person could experience.

With love,

Your little girl!

1 comment:

  1. That is hilarious!!!! You come up with some of the funniest things to share! Keep 'em commin'...