Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Trying To Be Tough

Since early Sunday morning, I have been home alone. I became used to it last November when Jake was gone for 2 months (minus the weekends). I don't really like to be home alone but I tried to keep busy. Sunday afternoon I was feeling a little worse than normal. My skin hurt and my throat felt swollen....but I couldn't really tell if it was just another pregnancy symptom or not.

When I was a little girl my mom would always tell me "You could get run over my a steamroller and be fine, but if someone every hurts your feelings, you'll cry and cry and cry." She was right. I was tough....but my feelings are still VERY sensitive.

So I tried to be tough and just deal with the constant nausea (never actually throwing up), EXTRA good sniffer, headaches, boob aches, and now a runny/stuffy nose. But I'm tough, I can deal with it. Then I had no one else to take care of me. I had to cook my own meals (cereal and oatmeal) and just be lonely and sick.

Last night it all intensified. Another rock was placed in my back pack....heartburn bad enough for a Clydesdale. I was laying in bed, alone, trying to fall asleep so I wouldn't have to be tough anymore. I was there...just about to fall asleep when I got a text message from a loving husband checking up on me. Turns out, he was also lonely. He is in Oregon at the dunes with some guy friends. They were all sleeping, he was wide awake.

He was prolonging my suffering, but it was worth feeling like we were dating again. I had to get up, eat some crackers, drink some water, pee, then finally sleeping. ANOTHER TEXT. It went on for an hour. Then I woke up this morning with a big fat cold sore on my lip, pulsing. I wasn't making it up, I really was sick. I just couldn't tell because of everything else that is going on in my body.

So I sent Jake a text this morning letting him know I had a surprise waiting for him when he got home tonight. He replied...."Oh can't wait, I have a surprise for you too. Its really cool and I'm not giving it away this time." (he has only actually surprised me once....ever). He has no idea that my surprise in a cold sore. (I would post a picture, but you don't want to see what I look like right now.)

1 comment:

  1. WHAT!!! Your pregnant!!!!! YAY!!!! I am soo happy for you guys!!! How far along are you? So, I feel your pain. When I was prego, I got cold sores a lot for the first little while, never experiencing heartburn in my life before, suddenly had it really bad. I never threw up, until I was giving birth, but the morning sickness lasted for 4 months, in the worst way. Not to mention some other not so fun symptoms, that no one ever told me about. I promise its all worth it. I would ask your dr for medicine for the heartburn and the morning sickness, for it truely helped me.
    When does Jake get home? Can I bring you some food or something?