Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Funny Funny Funny

Life is so funny sometimes. Here are some of the funny things I've written down.

Everett: Breckie you're hilarious!
Breckie: I'm not the hairiest!

I'm writing a shopping list and say: We need bacon...
Breckie: We have bacon soda!
(Baking soda)

Breckie: I want the chicken cereal
Me: What's the chicken cereal
Breckie: It's like raisin bran but no raisins
Me: Oh, cornflakes :)

(I tried to open the wrong blue Honda Odyssey in the parking lot... )
Me: Oh shoot, this isn't even our car!
Breckie: Yeah, ours is the one with the messy back seats

Me: Do you want to go to Cafe Rio for Taco Tuesday?
Breckie: No, I want to go to Sprouts for gummy worm Tuesday
(Sprouts is a grocery store with a bulk food section)

(playing Legos)
Breckie: Mom, do you know what this looks like?
Me: What?
Breckie: It's a table jump into the pool!
(a diving board)

Breckie: Dad, I took a bite of the sausage and bited it all up until it was lots of little pieces, see (opens her mouth)

Breckie: 🎢Let it go, let it go, can't hold the bag anymore...

(Breckie just put a bunch of play makeup on her face)
Breckie: Dad, can we wrestle?
Jake: Sure
Breckie: Well, can you paint my nails first... then I'll be ALLLLL ready to wrestle!

Everett: Mom, can I have ice cream and hot fudge?... cause I had a string cheese
(He was justifying having a treat because he ate something healthy first :)

(One fast Sunday)
Everett: Mom, are we going home after this? (sacrament meeting)
Me: No, we have primary next.
Everett: Oh, I thought it was just this (sacrament meeting) because it was fast Sunday!?
Me: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Everett: Breckie, it's time to say family prayer.
(Breckie ignores him)
Everett: Breckie, if you don't ay family prayer then I'm going to punch your wiener in the nuts!
Me: πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Me: I love you times a million!
Everett: Well I love you Disney!
Me: Disney?
Everett: Yeah, because Disney is infinity and that means forever!
(Everett has a Disney Infinity X-box game :)

Breckie: I have 10 pennies now!
Everett: Oh, that's good because 4 pennies is a dollar!

Breckie: Who's tallest? Dad?
Me: Yep
Everett: And I'm taller than you.
Breckie: I'm not tall!

Breckie: Look, I'm a pizza chew!

Everett: Can I have some butter and comadon cheese on my spaghetti?
(parmesan cheese :)

Everett: I learned about alcohol today.
Me: Oh yeah?
Everett: Yeah, if you drink some you die at Christmas time.

Me: Do you know why I could never be a real photographer?
Jake: Because you don't like people
Me: Hahahahahahah... well I was going to say because it would take me too long to edit pictures

Breckie: Mom, where's my balloon?
Me: check the junk drawer.
Breckie: MOM! It's NOT a junk drawer, it's a treasure drawer!

(A fire truck is leaving the Walmart parking lot with its siren on as we are pulling in)
Breckie: Mom, where is that fire truck going?
Me: Hmmm, I'm not sure
Breckie: Maybe they're going to deliver snacks to their friends!

(seeing a moped on the road)
Rhett: WHOA! cool! Is that a dirt bike or a motorcycle?
Me: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

(We are driving in the car and the kids are hungry and we're looking for a place to eat)
Breckie: We could eat there (points to circle k (a gas station))
Everett: Q-tip? No, we can't eat there. (Q-tip = Quick trip/QT/gas station)
Breckie: How about there? (points to scrubs (where they sell scrubs))
Everett: Scrubs? No, that's a dog store.
Breckie: It's not a dog store!
Everett: Yes it is. They like scrub stuff there
Me: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Me: Breckie, do you want a ham sandwich for lunch? (we've never had ham sandwiches before...)
Breckie: Yes, I do
Me: Do you want cheese on it?
Breckie: No
Me: So just bread and ham?
Breckie: No, just ham.

These last ones are from our road trip to Colorado last Summer:

(Everett sees a sign with food and gas symbols on it)
Everett: Oh good, we already gassed.

Everett: I need my soda popped.

(Passed the Conoco gas station)
Everett: I know that word! Cuh-nah-cah.

(trying to pass the time while driving...)
Jake:What's brown and stinks?
Everett: Uh, a horse or a cow?
Jake: Well, it comes out of our bodies.
Everett: Oh! A baby!
Me and Jake: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Jake: was our baby brown?
Everett: no, but some are

Me: Spell book
Everett: b o o k
Me: Spell tooth
Everett: t o o t h
Me: grass
Everett: g r a s s
Me: ear
Everett: e r
Me: eye
Everett: I

(It starts raining)
Everett: I think Jesus must be taking a shower.

1 comment:

  1. These are hilarious!!!! I love that you write it down. I will need to do that with my kids. You're an inspiration!