Saturday was a long day.
We woke up early and packed everything for the memorial and drove to Springerville.
Montana and I drove together with all of the things to set up. We planned on getting there a few hours early and Jake was coming later with the kids.
Montana and I talked about a lot of our feeling revolving around Dad and our childhood in general. It was a very bittersweet feeling. In a huge way, Dad was ready to go. He was in so much pain and he was lonely. He told Kelly several times on Friday that he wasn't afraid to die.
But nobody expected him to.
There were a few hiccups, but the memorial went well. (Like how Breckie puked all over Jake and into Roxy's blanket RIGHT before the service started.)
Aunt Deanna and Uncle Doug talked about his younger/teen years. It was hilarious to know how little he'd changed! Aunt Deanna talked about how he was very honest and how sometimes it would have been better if he kept his honest opinions to himself. SO TRUE! How he teased tirelessly. As kids we were subject to his teasing too. How he was responsible and good with money... sometimes too good with money. Like how he used the same towels for his entire adult life. Never buying new ones. He was very frugal.
Uncle Doug's tribute was great to hear. I learned several new things about my dad. Like how he wore platform shoes and bellbottoms in high school and how he was "hip". How he always had amazing hair. That my dad (the oldest of 6 kids) was more like a dad to him than a brother. They would go hunting and camping and eat tin foil dinners out in the New Mexico country. Uncle Doug talked about how they would drive up to the top of Mt Taylor just to listen to the FM radio because that's the only place they could get it. I smiled ear-to-ear when I heard about them driving all the way to Albuquerque just to go rollerskating. He also told how my dad was kind to him even when he did things that caused my dad grief... like the time he accidentally wet the sleeping bag they were sharing.
As a kid I remember my dad telling us he had a motorcycle once. We were so intrigued and asked why he didn't have it anymore. He told us that Uncle Doug crashed it. Of course, as kids, we were like "were you so mad at him?!!" and I remember my dad saying something like "It's hard to be mad at someone who's all busted up in a hospital bed. But besides that, he's my brother."
*Yearbook proof of the nice hair
Montana talked about our dad as a father. She recounted trips camping and the fun memories we had. She joked that if squirrels had ever been put on the endangered species list, that our family would have been responsible for it 😆 Near the end, she said how we got used to saying goodbye to our dad and how it was totally his style to just disappear without saying goodbye sometimes. He was never good at goodbyes so he left this life in his usual fashion. He just left and no one got to say goodbye.
Raven talked about our dad as an uncle and how much fun she always had with him. She joked that spending so much time with Uncle Ward sometimes made her feel like a daughter to him... and how this wasn't always a good thing! Like if you used too much toilet paper, didn't drink your milk after eating cereal or used too much ketchup while eating his classic 'fish sticks and tater tots' dinner. Dad really loved Raven a lot and they got even closer in the more recent years.
I talked about Dad as a grandpa and how the kids will always remember him by his old trucks, him always buying new movies, and the times he'd play candy land and duck, duck, goose with them. I shared how I knew that he treasured nothing more in this life than us kids. Many people confirmed this to us after the memorial.
Wesley gave some amazing spiritual remarks. He knew how much Dad struggled to understand his worth and always had a hard time forgiving himself. Dad knew the Gospel and believed in it but never gave himself enough credit for the good he did.
Afterwards we had several long tables with a lot of memorabilia that depicted his life. Pictures, his camera, yearbook, pottery, arrowheads, a gun case, his tool bag, a pair of boots and a small set of antlers.
I didn't get any pictures except this candid shot.
It was good to visit with people and hear how they knew or were related to our dad.
Here are some of his siblings and cousins.
We managed to get a picture of the three of us. I can't even remember the last time we were all together.
After the memorial, we packed up and headed to St. Johns (30 min away) where several family members live. We got together and had enchilada and beans like the good ole days.
It felt so good to be with family.
*Everett playing 500 with cousins
So many people brought flowers to the memorial.
I especially loved the arrangement from his TEP co-workers.
I'm so grateful that we were able to gather as family. It always feels good to be with people you've loved your whole life. I really wish I would have taken more pictures.
We left late, drove through snow and rain through the salt river canyon, getting home close to midnight.
The next day we almost completely cleaned out Dad's house. There are only a few boxes left.
It's taken a few weeks for life to settle. Their are real moments of heartache. For days after the memorial I kept wanting to call my dad to let him know how it went.
It's a strange feeling.
It's also been a new experience writing these posts. I've kept this blog for so many years for my dad. He LOVED it. In fact, I've found several posts he's printed out and put in photo albums. I could always count on him reading it.
It's also strange to see his number in my Favorites menu on my phone.
His phone rang the other day. It was his dentist reminding him of an upcoming appointment. I answered and had to tell them the news. The lady on the other end was SHOCKED! She loved my dad and really couldn't believe it. "I really liked your dad a lot. In fact, I wanted to set him up with my sister. He was one of my very favorite patients. He was always so kind."
Kind and sincere. Those two words will always describe my dad.