A Touch Of Tyrell

(How do you like the newspaper heading 😅) Some new neighbors invited us over for dinner and we accepted the invite. We were there for only a few minutes before there was another knock at the door and another family came in. And then another, and another, and still two more.  I wasn't expecting it to be a huge party dinner and was feeling overwhelmed by all of the kids, commotion, noise (although the food was amazing!).  Roxy kept wanting me to play with her and I just felt super weird and anxious... so I snuck out and went on a walk.  The neighborhood lights, cool air, and the Christmas music that was coming from a few yards was nice. I've been experiencing a lot of inner turmoil lately and it hasn't been fun. We probably shouldn't have accepted the invite... 

Since starting school again after Fall break, Breckie has been having a lot of anxiety about going to school. She complains that her tummy hurts all of the time and she has been crying and really emotional at school lately.  I've had several conversations with Breckie and her teacher but it's still a bummer she feels this way. Once we cross the crosswalk and near the school, she tells me her tummy hurts and it feels like the first day of school again :( *she checked out Dear Girl from her school library and adores the book! She slept in our bed with me when Jake was at the dunes. I thought it was cute she wanted to keep me company... but then it turned into her not wanting to sleep in her bed alone once Jake got back. She slept with Roxy in Roxy's bed for a few nights after that. I thought it was adorable but wished Breckie wasn't so nervous to be alone.  She has gotten a little better about sleeping alone now but we are still working on the school pa...

I got my blood results back.  I am as healthy as a healthy person can be. All of my numbers are perfect and there is nothing wrong with my thyroid and I don't have diabetes or any other condition.  As my doctor was going over the results she said,  "you look like you're just waiting for a bomb to drop" Because I was. There was something very clearly wrong with me and that test didn't give me any answers.  Then she went over the genetic testing. It was a very expensive test but it's where we got some answers.  But first, I must back up. I'll have to give a little personal and family history for this to mean as much as it does.  I have struggled with depression and anxiety all of my life. I literally can't ever remember a time when I wasn't anxious and I clearly remember the depression starting when I was about 8 year old. Mental illness runs deep in my family history. My dad struggled with my same struggles and so did hi...

May started with Roxy and I at my Dad's house. Still working on it. Getting really close to being done 🙌 I think we ended up being there three nights in a row.  Jake had his dunes trip the 2nd-5th. The morning of the 2nd he took the kids out for breakfast at Kneaders.. kind-of like a last hoorah before he was gone for the rest of the week.  It happened to be the Father/Son campout that same weekend. They were both bummed they couldn't go but Everett went with the Westover boys & Dave. They picked him up that night.  Roxy and I were still up at my Dad's. I was putting the grout on the backsplash but it was going SOOOOO much slower than I had anticipated (literally everything takes like 4 times longer than you think). I couldn't leave in the middle of the project and I was running into so many problems.... so Breckie ended up spending the evening with the Westover girls & Jen... which turned into a sleepover. Her first sleepover ever. And it ...