How to Jump rope
Step 1. Grab your jump rope and go into your garage or to your back porch (so no one can witness what you are about to do).
Step 2. Start with the rope behind you, swing it around front, and jump over the rope.
Step 3. Woops. Stop…. and go pee.
Step 4. Ok. Try again. Repeat step 2. This time smack the top of your shoes with your rope. Try again. And again. And again.
Step 5. Go change your shoes. They must be too big and that’s why you can’t jump the rope.
Step 6. Repeat step 2 again. This time smack yourself in the back of the head. Almost yell a profanity.
Step 7. Get real frustrated and think to yourself, “DUUUUDE why can’t I do this? I did it all of the time in elementary school. Cinderella dressed in yella…..”
Step 8. Try step 2 again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…. OOOUUUCCCHHHHH! That’s going to leave a mark on the back of your leg.
Step 9. Go pee again. Remember, you have a post pregnancy body now.
Step 10. Try again. Maybe it’s easier with only one leg. Nope. Definitely not easier.
Step 11. Try again. Sweet, you got to 13. Maybe you can do 100.
Step 12. You got to 98. Call it a day.
Time elapsed: 4 minutes 28 seconds.
Aparently Everett already knows how to jump rope!
Step 1. Grab your jump rope and go into your garage or to your back porch (so no one can witness what you are about to do).
Step 2. Start with the rope behind you, swing it around front, and jump over the rope.
Step 3. Woops. Stop…. and go pee.
Step 4. Ok. Try again. Repeat step 2. This time smack the top of your shoes with your rope. Try again. And again. And again.
Step 5. Go change your shoes. They must be too big and that’s why you can’t jump the rope.
Step 6. Repeat step 2 again. This time smack yourself in the back of the head. Almost yell a profanity.
Step 7. Get real frustrated and think to yourself, “DUUUUDE why can’t I do this? I did it all of the time in elementary school. Cinderella dressed in yella…..”
Step 8. Try step 2 again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…. OOOUUUCCCHHHHH! That’s going to leave a mark on the back of your leg.
Step 9. Go pee again. Remember, you have a post pregnancy body now.
Step 10. Try again. Maybe it’s easier with only one leg. Nope. Definitely not easier.
Step 11. Try again. Sweet, you got to 13. Maybe you can do 100.
Step 12. You got to 98. Call it a day.
Time elapsed: 4 minutes 28 seconds.
Aparently Everett already knows how to jump rope!