Breckie and I decided that we should decorate for Halloween... since the stores are bursting with Halloween decor... and Thanksgiving AND Christmas.
So we pull out the decorations we had and bought a few more.
We were hanging up a giant spider in our stretched-out cotton spiderweb on the front porch. AND WE WERE SO FREAKING HOT.
It was 8 a.m.
I was so frustrated.
It's just so bleeping hot all of the time. ALL OF THE TIME.
I know I suffer from seasonal depression. I became very familiar with it in WA.
But AZ is not exempt.
Although the sun shines and I can see the blue sky, it depresses me that I can't go out there.
I'm so tired of being hot and sweaty and wearing 40 layers of clothes and seeing how sweaty my kids are when we get in and out of the car and it's hard to entertain them inside all of the time and if we did go somewhere else we'd have to pay some sort of 'admission' fee (movies, bounce house, chick-fil-a, the mall, bowling, you get the point).
I was whining to Jake that I just can't do it anymore.
I just want to live somewhere real.
With real seasons and real weather.
I'm sick of decorating for holidays that don't even happen.
I was trying to stir up some emotion in Jake.
I asked him "... and don't you remember real Fall when leaves change colors? The reds and orange and yellow (my heart is literally aching). And the big spiderwebs. And they have dew on them in the morning and it looks so cool. And you can go outside and if feels so good and clean and fresh?" (all the while I want to cry because I want it soooo bad)
Then he started to kind-of get mad (because this is the 427th time I've brought it up in the past 18 months and we've explored lots of options. He's tried. And he's frustrated he can't give me what I want)
So he gets kind-of mad.
And then said something like "... and we can't just up and move our family and my career all because you want some dewy spiderwebs!"
And I LAUGHED. SO. HARD.
Like the laugh you laugh and you can't breathe but you need to breathe but it's so funny you can't stop laughing to take a breath.
And then you snort.
And it's just so hilarious when you play it back in your mind.
It still makes me laugh.
And I still want to cry knowing it won't happen here.
Technically it does... the week before Christmas.
It messes with your mind. At least mine. I hate it.
Then this morning we rolled all of our windows down on the way to school because it was the first time we could do that and not die. It was still 78 degrees warm, but bearable.
So I will celebrate September 15th.
It was still 97 degrees today but at least I had a moment.
We all had a moment.
It was glorious. And I was significantly happier all day.