A Touch Of Tyrell

I was actually really sad and cried a lot on my birthday.  I also cried a lot the day before too so I had a crying hangover. You know, where your eyes feel fatigued and you feel dehydrated? It's been a rough 3 years for Jake and I  (some things get better while other things get worse) and I can't seem to stop crying. But it doesn't make anything better... it actually just makes it worse because Jake gets mad that I've been crying so much.  So I slept on the couch, woke up and went on a drive. Life has been too stressful and I needed to get out of the house. When it comes to fight of flight... you can probably figure out which one comes more natural to me.  I ended up driving through midway and park city.  The colors blew my mind.  My mom called and tried her best to cheer me up/offer sympathy/understanding.  I eventually came home to birthday surprises that Breckie and Jake worked on all day.  After baking all day I suggested he skip his dinner pl...

Parent teacher conferences are usually a breeze because the kids are so awesome.  I met with Roxy's teacher in person because she's *almost* the farthest behind in her class. I'm almost certain she is dealing with some fore of ADD and she can't seem to make any process on any assignment if her teacher isn't kneeling by her desk helping keep her on track.  I'm not one tiny bit surprised. It's been super tough to get her to learn her sight words (or do any activity with her, really!). But I'm pretty optimistic about her :) While I was with her teacher, she and Breckie took a look around the book fair. We found a new book series all about me, lol!  

Last year a friend introduced me to a garden + boutique in Orem called Sun River Gardens. It's legit.  So I had to stop by on my way to drive the Alpine loop. This year has been really difficult for me emotionally and I like to take advantage of any opportunity for solitude. So a drive through the mountains was perfect.  *this is an arm-out-the-window-take-a-picture-while-driving photo.  I stopped at the summit and did a hike called Primrose Overlook. Again, It was a little too early for the Aspen leaves to change but it was perfect regardless.  A lot has changed between Jake and I in the last 2-3 years and sometimes it's just too much and I need to be alone.  It's a lot to process and it's overwhelming.  And sometimes nature can help to heal wounds.  From where I stood, I could see Mt Timpanogus, Heber Valley, and Midway.  I spent a lot of time up there soaking it in.  When the sun would shine through the clouds, it seemed as if I was seeing...

Last year, Fall started the last week in September... at least in the mountains.  So this year we made it a point to set aside lots of time that week for hiking. Turns out Fall came a little later this year... but I don't regret getting an early start! So this when some of the leaves just started to turn. Still breath-taking for a nature lover like me.  We hiked Scout Falls twice this summer when the water was flowing way over the rocks. It was still flowing, just not as much.  Some of the girls in our hiking group were a little disappointed at the lack of colors, but coming from a fall-less desert, it was amazing. Utah is the dream of all dreams for me. I really have found my place on this planet.   

So there is this group of women that I just LOVE. We've been getting together for months. 3 of us live on the same street and the other 3 live within a few minutes' walk. We usually get together on Thursday evenings a couple times a month and play games. And eat. And laugh until we just can't anymore,  Honestly, they are some of my very favorite nights.  Some of the best stories have been told and I often laugh so hard that I go home with a headache and sometimes I may have peed a little 😅 Maghen suggested we plan a girls trip. We thought about going to Mexico but some of the husbands weren't big fan of that idea. So we decided to have a "stay-cation" and try out Scottsdale.  We ate at lots of delicious places I'd only ever heard of, stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, played games and laughed, shopped, and even went to the pool! Plus, we had matching shirts with our own hashtags we gave each other.  By the time we made it home to our families we...

I know that this year has been pretty intense for most people... us included.  I can't really tell what's been a blessing, a curse, a misfortune. a lesson, an opportunity for growth, etc.  Have you ever heard of the Chinese Farmer? Jake actually read it one Sunday to the family. Everett mentioned that he had heard it before... but it was my first time hearing it: "Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate.  They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”  The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”  The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then ...

It's almost been a week since I got my abs sewn together.  I had the surgery last Friday and my first follow up on Tuesday.  I always wondered how I acquired a golf ball-ish sized wad of stretch mark-y skin to the right of my belly button. My surgeon told me at my follow up that I didn't have any abs for two inches to the right of my belly button and an inch to the left (and they were really stretched out everywhere else).  He tried his best to repair them.  It ABSOLUTELY kills to sneeze or cough. It BURNS and hurts SO BADLY!  Also, it's impossible to try and sit up without them burning.... so I kind-of roll to the side and stand up once my feet are on the ground.   I can't stand up straight yet... this is as good as it gets for now :) I feel like I'm doing pretty good though. I've been reading and trying really hard to rest. But today I got a little stir crazy and walked upstairs and cleaned Roxy's room. She's been sick so I washed her bedding and clean...

 After what seems like an eternity of waiting (excitedly), I was finally able to get my stretch-marky and lumpy midsection fixed!!!!! Three days prior I could only have soft foods like scrambled eggs and soup. The next day I could only have liquids and the final day before surgery I could only have clear liquids till dinner and then nothing.  All of the nurses in pre-op and the anesthesiologist couldn't believe they were doing a 'tummy tuck' on someone who only weighed 110 pounds... but then I explained that I had 8+ pound babies and the skin was ruined forever. I have worked out to no end (I've even been down to 105 lbs) and there is nothing that will take the skin away. It's just lumpy and saggy. When I do a plank on my elbows, my belly button is held in tight and all the skin around it just hangs to the floor.  My surgeon told me that my muscles were so stretched out in places that they were barely even held together. So he sewed them together, pulled my skin dow...