I was actually really sad and cried a lot on my birthday.
I also cried a lot the day before too so I had a crying hangover. You know, where your eyes feel fatigued and you feel dehydrated?
It's been a rough 3 years for Jake and I (some things get better while other things get worse) and I can't seem to stop crying. But it doesn't make anything better... it actually just makes it worse because Jake gets mad that I've been crying so much.
So I slept on the couch, woke up and went on a drive. Life has been too stressful and I needed to get out of the house. When it comes to fight of flight... you can probably figure out which one comes more natural to me.
I ended up driving through midway and park city.
The colors blew my mind.
My mom called and tried her best to cheer me up/offer sympathy/understanding.
I eventually came home to birthday surprises that Breckie and Jake worked on all day.
After baking all day I suggested he skip his dinner plans and we just go to MOD pizza.
Jake has a pizza 'recipe' just how we like it there. We came home to have our mountain of cake and open presents.
*I don't look all that great... that's what happens when you can't stop crying. Or maybe that's just how I look all the time.
Jake told me that my Dad helped pick out the Lego present. It was very sweet because I had a very similar Lego set at his house as a kid.
And a friend even made time to drop off a sweet note with donuts.
I felt so loved and blessed and sad and destroyed all at the same time.