I know that this year has been pretty intense for most people... us included.
I can't really tell what's been a blessing, a curse, a misfortune. a lesson, an opportunity for growth, etc.
Have you ever heard of the Chinese Farmer? Jake actually read it one Sunday to the family. Everett mentioned that he had heard it before... but it was my first time hearing it:
"Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate.
They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”
The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”
The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”
The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
The farmer steadfastly refrained from thinking of things in terms of gain or loss, advantage or disadvantage, because one never knows… In fact we never really know whether an event is fortune or misfortune, we only know our ever-changing reactions to ever-changing events.
So much has happened this year and it's quite overwhelming to think about, actually. And much of it is unrelated to COVID and the added challenges it brought/brings.
This first major "misfortune" has been the cracks and flaws in our marriage being exposed. It has continued to require an enormous amount of effort and constant attention and energy. Just when I feel like we've reached rock-bottom, a bonus basement level is added. And then a trap door opens up and we fall another few levels. The humility and lessons have been endless.
Then Jake gets hit by a car on his road bike.
On the day of my birthday my mini-van broke down. Jake's Truck was already in the shop for some repairs. Luckily we had the Jeep. I got my van back after some very costly repairs... and then we learned that Jake's truck had been stolen from the dealership (where it was getting repairs done).
It was gone for a total of 5 days.
Over 1,000 miles were put on it... and we are fairly certain that all of those miles were spent between Arizona and Mexico. It was seen on surveillance crossing the boarder several times.
After another stolen vehicle (from a different dealership) was found... a police chase ensued. Eventually they caught the person, found Jake's keys in their possession, found his truck. It had been side-swiped, missing mirrors and had pretty much been gutted. They found cocaine in the truck.
It's been pretty interesting over here.
I re-connected with an old friend this Summer just to have the relationship break me all over again. The emotions have completely swallowed me whole. I have never cried, sobbed, whimpered, gasped for air with such intensity EVER in my life. Honestly, I didn't know I was capable of being broken so badly.
I know Heaven is trying to teach me a lot this year and I'm trying to be like the Chinese Farmer.
Curse/blessing, fortune/misfortune, or maybe it's straight-up just life. I can only hope I've grown in ways that prepare me for what's to come.