2017 was a bittersweet symphony. Or an explosion.
This is the third year in a row that I've said it's been hard, the worst and bitter. This one takes the cake. If I had to sum up the year in one word, it would be ANXIETY.
or CHANGE. or SAD. or UNCERTAIN. or BROKEN.
The truth is I couldn't watch our best friends marriage and family fall apart anymore. They had moved onto our street in 2016 and that was the beginning of the end.
We couldn't get to or from our house without driving past their house and it was tearing me apart. I couldn't handle to watch a dear family fall apart.
So we moved. Because that's what I do. When things are bad, I run away.
It affected me in every aspect of my life and I had to do something about it. So we moved. We wanted to live in a different town anyways and have a pool so it just seemed like we better do it already.
One thing lead to the next and here we are, in a temporary rental counting down the 39 days until we move in. None of it has been easy. Too many emotions and choices and memories and flashbacks and I had multiple mental breakdowns.
I went to see a therapist, heavily campaigned to move states, got a job (working nights at Homegoods), cried more tears and housed too much anger and regret and ill feelings than anyone should.
And the worst past is that life doesn't stop for you to have a breakdown... it just keeps marching on with or without you.
We are excited about the new house, having a school across the street, having a pool of our own and Jake's office just a few miles away. We are excited to move on with our lives and leave 2017 behind us. But I still wish we could move states and so the bittersweet symphony continues. At this point the hope and dream is to buy a condo or second house somewhere else so we can escape the AZ summer and fall. At least that's the idea that I'm going to hold onto so I can be ok :)
And that's the truth about 2017. It wasn't my best year. It left me broken and anxious... but the future looks brighter than ever!